Compared to before, the desire to write has diminished day by day, and I often feel anxious and restless. Once again, I force myself to calm down and review the past year.
Life and Changes#
Finally graduated, completely entered society, and started to find a job to support myself. Thinking back to the first half of the year, I was still in school, tormented by my graduation project, occasionally drinking and bragging with my roommates at night. In comparison, they seemed to be the group of people with a bright future, while my future was blurry, with only a glimmer of light. What lies behind that light is still unknown. I left school in July and received my graduation certificate, but I couldn't get my diploma until a year later because I hadn't completed a military theory course. I stayed at home for a few days and then came to Hangzhou. My parents are not in good health and they argue every day at home, bringing up old grievances over trivial matters. No one's persuasion works, and they still argue every day. I don't want to go home anymore, so I escaped to Hangzhou.
I came to Hangzhou for the first time during the Chinese New Year last year (2021) for the same reason, to escape from the arguments. I came to work with two friends I've known for many years, still in the service industry, working as a waiter. I can earn more than 5,000 yuan a month, which is not bad, although it's tiring. At least I saved some money, which allows me to spend the first two months in Hangzhou after graduation. Originally, I discussed with these two friends about trying to become game streamers together, but after coming here, we had to go our separate ways. One friend had a mortgage to pay and didn't save much money after coming out, so he couldn't afford the initial expenses of streaming and had to go to Shanghai to work. The other friend enrolled in a training class in Shanghai to learn testing. These were the first two months in Hangzhou after graduation. I improved my cooking skills a lot during this time, and I can make a decent braised pork.
After parting ways, I met my current landlord and his dog on a rental platform called Weixinsuoyu.
What I've Done#
Up until now, my daily life consists of walking the dog and searching various platforms for potential jobs. I have made some friends and have a monthly fixed income of 1,000 yuan. I work for a small team doing UI and frontend work, and the atmosphere is harmonious. They are a precious group of friends I have met in Hangzhou. In addition, I have worked on several small projects: rpshare - a file sharing mini program, Walking the Dog - a mini program for finding nearby dog walking partners, and Maimo - a WeChat mini program client for the open-source project usememos. Yes, I still enjoy developing mini programs. I have also studied Node.js + Express backend development. The backend for Walking the Dog is built with Node.js, gradually moving away from WeChat Cloud Development because the cost of cloud development has become too unattractive...
I have also learned a lot about React. I can now use Next.js to develop complex projects on the web, and I have become more proficient in responsive design for mobile devices. I have also learned a new technology stack called Tailwind CSS, and once you start using it, there's no going back. Tailwind CSS is just too convenient.
After WeChat Cloud Development was discontinued, rpshare became unusable. I have always wanted to find time to refactor the backend of rpshare, but now I think it may not be necessary. Rpshare is not a good idea; using WeChat for file sharing is too troublesome due to API restrictions. Perhaps I can make it more specialized... Currently, I consider myself capable of being an excellent frontend developer for mini programs, a skilled UI designer for mobile devices, a decent backend developer, and a good web frontend developer. This can be considered a significant achievement of the year, the fruit of anxiety and pressure.
I still haven't lived the life of an independent developer that I envisioned, nor have I become a freelancer who can live a decent life with continuous "inner peace". However, I have become an uncle. My sister gave birth to a chubby baby this year, who is very cute. Now the baby can say "mom" and "dad", and my sister is urgently training the baby to call me "uncle". This year, I also sent out red envelopes for the first time during Chinese New Year, haha. Being concerned about my image, I sent a red envelope of 1,000 yuan, an amount I have never received before. I envy my nephew for having such a good uncle like me!
It is worth mentioning that I am still spending the Chinese New Year away from home. I will return home on the 2nd or 5th day after the New Year, but I may not stay for long and will have to return to Hangzhou. My father's health is still okay, but his mind is getting more and more confused. Every time I call, he can't speak for long and hangs up in a hurry... I often tell myself that one day I will regret not spending more time with my family, but every time I am at home, I hear them arguing and forcing me to do things I don't want to do...
I told them to keep the money they saved for themselves and not give it to me, but they didn't listen. They still work hard at home, doing heavy physical labor, farming, and raising sheep. I don't want to and can't afford to buy a house. Even when I have the financial ability, I may not want to buy a house. The same goes for getting married and having children. In my opinion, I wouldn't be a good husband or father. I just want to live a little easier and make the people I care about live a little easier, with more happiness and less worries.
What to Do#
- Continue to strive to become a freelancer
- Spend more time with parents, call them, and send greetings on important holidays
- Get out of singlehood, at least in spirit
- Have a healthier body than last year and live a happier life
- Travel, go to the seaside
That's all. Thank you, myself. You've worked hard. 🍀
